Time: 8:19 PM
Location: Kolkata, India
Well, today I'm going to write about something different. You won't get to read about the universe, earth, humans, life or any other stuff I usually write about. So...this is just gonna be about me. The ones who are least interested in knowing another strange human mind, I recommend that you stop reading this because it just revolves around one person and that is me.
So, I'll start. I believe I'm a very complex sort of person, at least complex for my own comprehension. However, usually I find that others are very quick to judge me. Maybe its because they only get a one dimensional view of who I really am. Sometimes their judgement turns out to be right and sometimes completely wrong. I'm in no way complaining about people being "judgmental" because they have their own mind and are completely free to use it to generate thoughts of their liking. Yes, it does hurt sometimes when people think of me with a negative approach, but that's a part of each and every human life in this world. Also, I'm fortunate enough to have a thick skin and a mind which can manipulate itself into positive thinking quite perfectly.
Everything is well and good until that point arrives when the society tries to force someone to become the person she/he is not. Well, that's what happens most of the time in my case and I honestly confess, I've been through moments when I've wanted to punch society in the face...but then my sensibility arrived in the messy scene (a bit too late!) and fixed things up. The main repair job was done by one single thought. It goes like this- society only forces someone to become someone else because it really wants the person to be a part of the community. Now, as a given society is used to certain behavioral patterns, it tends to think that this new person can only fit in if she/he displays those patterns...but frankly, people like me, don't. So, its up to us to make society see our new patterns and prototype it in it's system...and its completely possible that these patterns outshine the previous ones. Recognizing one's own beautiful side and then accepting it with a warm embrace is the only way to submit the prototype into the system which we call society.
So this was all about society, fitting in and standing out. Coming to the core matter, which is me, I'd like to share few of my attributes. I'm a proud and happy introvert, who talks less, texts more and eats a lot!! I find a novel more appealing than social events and if you ever meet me, you'll observe that during our entire conversation I will only utter two sentences! I have nothing to say but lots to express. Don't ever think that I don't like you or something like that. Its just that I like to observe people with a distant approach (You really are not getting this. Are you?). I am more into exploring the interiors of my mind instead of the exterior world (which makes sense, because who else writes so much about oneself?!). Its not that I'm completely disconnected from our world, because I do see it and feel it...but all with the mind's eye. This external world supports me both physically and mentally and I say so because of rich experiences I've had here. There were times when tons of philosophies and wisdom didn't help and my real saviors were people (and food!) from this very world which I call 'external'. I realized during those times, there's nothing called interior or exterior. Its all connected. Its only the views from different minds which differ.
Previously, even I was deceived by the idea of 'fitting in'. I used to act like a person I was not just because I thought that it would get me a good reputation and a high place in everyone's mind. It was like being that "I'm perfect at everything you can think of" sort of person. I used to remain stern, act according to every sort of manner existing and showed respect to people I thought didn't deserve it. It was highly strenuous. Every nerve that existed within my body ached. It was painlessly painful....but all these happened long ago (maybe 3 to 4 years back) because I realized that it was worth being less perfect...and the realization dawned on me mostly because of certain people whom I came across a few years ago. I realized that its alright to show someone your tears, its alright to be scared and its alright to devour your food like a crazy person in public! I was able to smile again without straining myself. I got a confidence which was no longer pretentious, even though not as perfect.
So, I learned it the hard way, being perfect is not everyone's cup of tea. In fact, perfection comes only from the heap of those little imperfections which we want to get rid of every passing moment. Being imperfect is blissful...and accepting one's own imperfection is perfection. I know this now and I also know now that others will accept someone only when that person accepts herself/himself first. I'm still working on it and I can certainly say, I've come a long way.
Image from: matrixtownley.wordpress.com